Over-Parenting to Freedom with Responsibility

Yesterday, I went to St. Paul’s School (SPS) for a tour, a school that stresses the maxim of “Freedom with Responsibility.” Coincidentally, today I picked up the November 17th issue of the New Yorker and saw an article about over-parenting, a topic that piqued my interest. At first glance, one might ask, “What does over-parenting have to do with the motto of St. Paul’s School?” Well, they are complete… Wait, you want to know what over-parenting is? It’s a pandemic destroying the world’s youth, usually characterized by a lot of extracurricular activities and excessive academic pressure. This disease comes from strict ambitious parents who force their children to do things that they sometimes don’t like. In the later stages, this leads to a lack of independence.

I went for my last school interview at SPS. Standard routine, go on a tour, ask a few questions, and … WHAT, no lights out? So obviously, I sought "Why?!". This is the first school I toured without a lights-out system. The answer lies in their motto, the complete opposite of over- parenting. The school forces students to manage their own lives and well-being, without their parents or too much interference from the teachers. I have to say this is better than over-parenting, as kids actually learn how to deal with real-life problems such as: organizing their schedule, resolving conflicts, etc. Maybe, that’s why some ranked this as the number one high school.

Anyway, why should I care about this? Am I being over-parented? The answer to the latter is no. Although I do a lot of extra-curricular activities, I do them because I enjoy them, not because my parents force me to do them. I care about this topic because I know that I’ll encounter overly obsessive parents in the future. Also, if I grow up and become a parent, it will be important for me, not to over-parent. Is St. Paul’s the school for me? Am I ready for freedom with responsibility? To end with a contemplative quote, “Does the path choose the walker, or does the walker choose the path?”, Garth Nix